HEINUS – PHOENIX Two Arizona State University scientists have asked amateur astronomers to assist them in searching photographs of the lunar surface for signs of alien activity. The scientists are seeking interested amateurs to look for signs such as messages, scientific instruments, alien waste or even signs of mining. Several groups have taken a cue from the ASU scientists and have also asked for amateur research help.
- Scientists at the University of the Wave in Honolulu have requested help in determining which type of surfing turn is more likely in the northern hemisphere: the left break or the right break. “We’ve been watching surfers for years and we still can’t quite figure it out,” said Prof. Ernie Tabac. “We’re starting to think it might have something to do with local conditions, but we’re not really sure, dude.”
- Economics researchers at the University of Pennsylvania have asked banking executives to undertake a rigorous set of self examinations to determine if they might have sharp, hollow canine teeth or a particular taste for human blood. “We’ve heard so many anecdotal comments about ‘bloodsuckers’,” said Dr. Harlan Stork, “that we thought maybe we should have bank presidents and CEOs take a look and then report their findings.”
- Scientists at the U.S. Bureau of Mines have put out a public call for people who may have stumbled across gold at the end of a rainbow to report their finds. “We’d love to have this data,” said Dr. El Bara del Viando, precious metal researcher. “But people always think we will report them to the IRS, not realizing that recovering Leprechuan gold is not a taxable event under the U.S. tax code.”
- Researchers at the Museum of the Screen in New York City have requested volunteers watch old MTV videotapes of Madonna to determine if the singer’s onstage dance moves could be used to decipher hidden messages in the Mayan calendar. “We think these messages could helps us avoid a worldwide calamity in 2012,” said Bruce Barracharrastafina, an adjunct professor of videotape emulsion. “If we can decipher them, they might provide us with enough data to stop the world from ending and also provide a nice retrospective of Madonna’s career.”
(Lunar phase image by Orion 8, Madonna image by iShot71)
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