HEINUS – OTTAWA Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has announced big changes for Canadian military. PM Harper will change the name of Canadian military branches by returning the “Royal” designation, which was removed in 1968. The Canadian Air Force, for example, will now be called The Royal Canadian Air Force.
According the Prime Minister Harper’s spokesman Stuart Tudor-Windsor, the return of the “Royal” designation is only the start of the planned changes. “We will remold Canada’s defense posture to better reflect our traditional connection to the British monarchy and the past,” Tudor-Windsor said. “To this end, we intend to re-arm Canadian military forces with a new mix of traditional royal-type weapons.”
Tudor-Windsor declined to detail all the changes, citing national security, but he did indicate that Canadian infantry units, for example, will trade in their assault rifles for 13th century English longbows. “There’s nothing more stirring than flights of clothyard arrows arcing toward their targets,” Tudor-Windsor said. “A good longbow archer can send arrows 180 to 200 yards downrange. The longbow was like the machine gun of the 1300s. It’s a more royal sort of weapon.”
Changes also include uniforms, with Canadian military personnel eschewing modern camouflage for bright 16th century colors. “The sort of kit we feel really screams royalty are red tights, cod pieces and ruff collars,” Tudor-Windsor said. “And those lovely pointed shoes they used to wear when attending the king. Simply to die for!”
Related posts:
- Zug post: I have my doubts about Canadian plastic money Special to HEINUS by Samuel Zug So, Canada is trying...
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
Well, it’s about bloody time, isn’t it? It’s a name, for god’s sake, and I’d rather Canada’s Air Force be considered royal, than…ordinary.
Let’s give due to the men and women who serve and not get our tits in a knot about the implications of what the word “royal” means.
As for the rest of the story…I was never a fan of the ruff collar, too damn scratchy.
I’m in a royal pissy mood today, sorry.
eden
Regally pissy, I’d say!!
I shall get you a new bow string and some pointy shoes for your birthday.