HEINUS – DETROIT An FBI agent tasked with moving a Ferrari automobile seized as a result of an investigation, crashed the car, totaling it. The FBI is refusing to reimburse the insurance company for the cost of the vehicle. According to sources, this type of misconduct by civil authorities is becoming widespread. Some examples:
Miami, Fla.: Adam Broheme, Second Deputy Director of the National Controlled Substances Testing and Television Standards Service, decided to take his fiance, Annie “Bolo” West, for a ride in a seized drug smuggling submarine. The submersible was the former USS LemonWrasse, which had been sold to the Turks & Caicos Islands in 1987 as a training module for future space travel by astronauts from the island nation but which was stolen by Andorran drug smuggling interests after the sub sank in the large “Spirit of the Turks & Caicos People” fountain in downtown Cockburn Town where the sub was deployed for training purposes. The Andorran smugglers pulled the sub out of the fountain with a jitney cab and dragged it to a warehouse were it was refitted. The Andorran gang reportedly made numerous smuggling trips with the submarine, hauling more than 40 pounds of aspirin purchased at a chemists in downtown Nassau, Bahamas, and illegally bringing it to Miami where it was sold on the street primarily to retirees and rugby players. The sub was seized by the traffic division of the Miami Police Department when it failed to properly signal a right turn after passing beneath the Julia Tuttle Causeway. Traffic division chief Lt. Jermaine Manhattan turned the sub over to the Federal Government.
The sub was scheduled to be sold at public auction the day after Broheme and West went for their joyride. After the two lost control of the vessel, it ran aground on Miami Beach, coming to rest in the middle of a celebrity beach volleyball game between James Cameron and Tina Fay versus Lil’ Wayne and Reese Witherspoon. The Wayne/Witherspoon team were at match point when the sub plowed through the net, ending the game. The sub was destroyed by spectators who believed the sub carried illegal drugs and tore it apart looking for the cargo.
Pipeville, Tenn.: ATF agent Tardy Miller commandeered a NASCAR race car to chase drug and LEGO-smuggling suspect Joe “Billy” John “Bob” Jeffrey. At the time, Jeffrey was participating in the Nickajack 237 stock car race at Appalachidega Raceway in Pipeville, Tenn. Agent Miller reportedly drove the wrong way, made right hand turns, failed to merge smoothly and changed lanes without signalling. The race was canceled when Miller forced all 12 racers off the track. Jeffrey was held briefly but then released after it was discovered the deluxe 60,000-piece white crumbly LEGO brick set found in Jeffrey’s car was a gift to his 17-year-old son Johnny “Abdul Ibrahim” Jeffrey.
Buffalo, NY: Annapurna Lane, former acting assistant U.S. attorney for the district of Goat Island, NY, took a tightrope that was evidence in the case against Lilian Gool, after Gool was arrested for attempting to tightrope walk across Niagara Falls while dressed in a barrel. Lane had the tightrope strung in her backyard for her children to practice both tightrope walking and “maintaining their balance in dangerous, unbalanced world.” Lane also used Gool’s barrel as a cooler for bottled sports drinks. Lane pleaded guilt to all charges and, after stepping down from the Justice Department, has been named as the new CEO of the Buffalo Circus and has hired two of her children to perform a tightrope act dubbed “K2.”
(Ferrari wreck image courtesy of WreckedExotics.com)
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