California voters made history yesterday by selecting the nation’s first zombie candidate, Clairvius Narcisse. Elevated to the California state assembly from a district in West Hollywood and Beverly Hills, Narcisse ran openly as a zombie. “I’ve never attempted to hide who I am,” Narcisse said to his supporters during a victory party at the Hotel Romero in West Hollywood. “Our task is to make California a better state for living and the living dead!”
Narcisse, who announced his candidacy in a Beverly Hills cemetery last year, ran a spirited campaign that included the usual campaign activities like kissing babies and gorging on ethic foods like brains and tongue. But Narcisse’s effort also reached out to marginalized parts of society like zombies, vampires, werewolves and the possessed. “Even though these people and creatures can’t vote,” Narcisse said later in an interview with this reporter, “I think it’s vital to include them in the debate. When everyone has a voice or grunt or a howl, then we’ll be making true progress.”
According to Narcisse, a big part of his new job in the state assembly will be changing attitudes. He said people should realize that negative stereotypes of zombies — like that shown the new TV series on AMC, The Walking Dead — should change. “After all, I’m right here talking to you sensibly, not drooling blood or munching on human flesh,” Narcisse said with a gap-toothed grin. “You don’t mind if a take a little bite of your arm, do you?” he added, before chuckling and insisting he was only joking.
When asked about one of the most charged topics in California politics, illegal immigration, Narcisse said that while following the law is important, tolerance should be key part of the state’s policy. “We have to put ourselves in their place,” Narcisse said. “Some of these immigrants are coming from situations of real danger. Just yesterday I spoke with two aliens from Betelgeuse in the constellation Orion. They genuinely feared for their lives back home and couldn’t be happier to be in California.”
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